On a recent trip to [city name] on [planet], I found myself, as most earthlings do while in its metropolitan area, in serious need of directions. My skills in the local tongue had been waning for some time, so I used a map to point to what I thought was my destination when a group of passersby stopped to give me a hand. I asked, "Is this far?" I should have picked up their concern in their glances at each other, then back to the map, the to each other. I notice things about [alien race] because they are absolutely the most beautiful creatures in the galaxy to me. Their elongated faces and limbs, the foliage of cranial tentacles that resemble human dread locks, and the smooth and almost ballet-style movements all strike me as incredibly aesthetic. So the jerkiness of their mannerisms should have struck me as interrogative. But I was unnaturally preoccupied with internal recitations so that I could remember all that I needed to share once I reached the big "X" on my map. They quickly replied, "It's not far." Being pressed for time, I thanked them and quickly headed in the same direction. I was shocked when the group began following me. When I turned to look at them, the tallest of the group repeated, "It's not far." I smiled and thanked them, bowing lowly as custom between strangers usually entails. But they continued behind me like strands in a blue train trailing graciously behind me. Rather than proceed and ignore the obvious signs , I decided just to stop and get to the bottom of things.
They seemed relieved when I stopped walking and approached them. This time, a much smaller one came forward, smiling. "It is not far," she said. Then she added a phrase which struck me to be a bit nutty as it can only be translated to mean "empty pockets." I suppose the look on my face must have been amusing, because she covered her face and peered at me through her long, spindly fingers. As she did, several members of her group gasped. I soon realized that they were explaining to her that I was an earth creature. I'd read that [race] can blush, but that was the first time I'd ever seen the phenomenon. It was as if a sunset had slowly come to settle across her face. She came closer, just within the borders of my personal space, and began to speak to me in perfect English. "I was not aware that you were an earthling. I hope that I did not offend you.
The notable clashes of culture between species
Monday, September 23, 2013
Friday, September 13, 2013
Complimentary Cursings, by Retinna Bell
How frustrating is to express a fervent, heart-felt compliment, only to have it to be interpreted as an insult? Well, I've had my share of this very phenomenon more than I care to admit. In fact, I owe my own interest in the field of interspecies culture interaction to such events. The worst occurred when I was six. My older brother and I went to visit my granny in the Golden Region of Iapetus, one of the moons of Saturn. We were placed in the care of Jungla, a nullaped being with three nostrils on his sunken, blue face. He'd been a frequent face within our lives up to that point, having accompanied us on every trip to granny's. Through the years, we'd come to adore his cheerful, childlike ways. He was very accommodating, and made sure that we were comfortable, well-nourished, and happy.
On this notable trip, Jungla had gone to acquire some juice for us. As I smilingly watched him slither away thought-controlled appendages having emerged like arms from his gelatinous body, I marveled at his appearance. He reminded my young mind of the characters from my favorite book turned cartoon, Candida and the Marshmallow Mushrooms. When I could no longer withhold my delight, I turned to my brother and said, "I love Jungla. He looks just like a marshmallow mushroom." My words were immediately followed by a very loud crash. I reflexively jerked my head to the source of the sound and saw Jungla standing empty-handed, a metal tray and broken juice cups at his feet.
Unbeknownst to me, Jungla was from a tiny moon of Jupiter known as Hermippe. It was on this celelstial body that humans believed they had discovered the first new biological kingdom: slime mold-like creatures with characteristics of both plants and animals. The land was filled with an overwhelming number of them, and the region was named Gax for the sound the scientists' tromping made as they waded through them. After decades of experimentation and observation, however, scientists became horrifically aware that what had appeared to be non-sentient beings was a stage of defensive transformation within a highly intelligent creature. When one of the collected "samples" carried a genetic mutation which prohibited its ability to maintain the defensive transformation for extended periods of time, scientists were met with a creature to rival humankind's assumed top spot as the galaxy's most intelligent creatures. Once defenses were released, what had been assumed to be more like a plant was observed to be a form of gastropod. Despite their intelligence, these beings were powerless to disengage from this transformed state due to some of the chemicals released by spacecraft and other devices used by humans. Without even realizing it, humans were responsible for the total eradication of entire nations of these beings. The eventual cultural result was a violently negative view of having the appearance of any entity other than one's self. The loving words of my six year-old mouth had struck a chord of deep racial tension I hadn't even known existed.
Just to clarify, I was in danger. Millions of humans have died for making this seemingly innocent mistake. For centuries, the Gachs refused to tolerate any such ignorance with anything other than severe corporal and even capitol punishments. I was a 50 pound piece of soft human organs caught in the cross hair of an enormous 400 pounds of muscle and girth. When I realized what I was looking at, and when I saw that he was approaching me with rage in his eyes, I did something I hadn't done in almost four years: I wet myself.
Some of the most difficult, and even scandalous events of my life were started when something I said was misinterpreted. Considering my track record in the field of communication, I wouldn't say that my problems were due to an overwhelming lack of communicative ability. Rather, I have found that confusion and misinterpretation is usually caused by cultural ignorance. This is perhaps the largest source of all international culture clashes. We're all ignorant of some cultural factor or another, even among our own species. But through education, we can become more equipped to make the most of international communication.
Jungla ends up being a great example. He'd already educated himself on human children and American culture. He'd learned about the amorous ways of human children, as well as the innocence. Accordingly, the shock of my statement hurt, but he was quickly able to compose himself. He scooped me up in an embrace and planted something close to a lip-less kiss on my cheek. We cleaned up, calmed down, and as thing s got back to normal, we talked. Our conversation has yet to end. Jungla became a lifelong friend of my entire family. We still discuss the cultural barriers of living kind; but more importantly, we uncover ways to overcome them.
On this notable trip, Jungla had gone to acquire some juice for us. As I smilingly watched him slither away thought-controlled appendages having emerged like arms from his gelatinous body, I marveled at his appearance. He reminded my young mind of the characters from my favorite book turned cartoon, Candida and the Marshmallow Mushrooms. When I could no longer withhold my delight, I turned to my brother and said, "I love Jungla. He looks just like a marshmallow mushroom." My words were immediately followed by a very loud crash. I reflexively jerked my head to the source of the sound and saw Jungla standing empty-handed, a metal tray and broken juice cups at his feet.
Unbeknownst to me, Jungla was from a tiny moon of Jupiter known as Hermippe. It was on this celelstial body that humans believed they had discovered the first new biological kingdom: slime mold-like creatures with characteristics of both plants and animals. The land was filled with an overwhelming number of them, and the region was named Gax for the sound the scientists' tromping made as they waded through them. After decades of experimentation and observation, however, scientists became horrifically aware that what had appeared to be non-sentient beings was a stage of defensive transformation within a highly intelligent creature. When one of the collected "samples" carried a genetic mutation which prohibited its ability to maintain the defensive transformation for extended periods of time, scientists were met with a creature to rival humankind's assumed top spot as the galaxy's most intelligent creatures. Once defenses were released, what had been assumed to be more like a plant was observed to be a form of gastropod. Despite their intelligence, these beings were powerless to disengage from this transformed state due to some of the chemicals released by spacecraft and other devices used by humans. Without even realizing it, humans were responsible for the total eradication of entire nations of these beings. The eventual cultural result was a violently negative view of having the appearance of any entity other than one's self. The loving words of my six year-old mouth had struck a chord of deep racial tension I hadn't even known existed.
Just to clarify, I was in danger. Millions of humans have died for making this seemingly innocent mistake. For centuries, the Gachs refused to tolerate any such ignorance with anything other than severe corporal and even capitol punishments. I was a 50 pound piece of soft human organs caught in the cross hair of an enormous 400 pounds of muscle and girth. When I realized what I was looking at, and when I saw that he was approaching me with rage in his eyes, I did something I hadn't done in almost four years: I wet myself.
Some of the most difficult, and even scandalous events of my life were started when something I said was misinterpreted. Considering my track record in the field of communication, I wouldn't say that my problems were due to an overwhelming lack of communicative ability. Rather, I have found that confusion and misinterpretation is usually caused by cultural ignorance. This is perhaps the largest source of all international culture clashes. We're all ignorant of some cultural factor or another, even among our own species. But through education, we can become more equipped to make the most of international communication.
Jungla ends up being a great example. He'd already educated himself on human children and American culture. He'd learned about the amorous ways of human children, as well as the innocence. Accordingly, the shock of my statement hurt, but he was quickly able to compose himself. He scooped me up in an embrace and planted something close to a lip-less kiss on my cheek. We cleaned up, calmed down, and as thing s got back to normal, we talked. Our conversation has yet to end. Jungla became a lifelong friend of my entire family. We still discuss the cultural barriers of living kind; but more importantly, we uncover ways to overcome them.
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